Sully's Recovery
by Clare bear 48
Summary: Who honestly thought Sully would recover from the life threatening beating he recieved from Rankin in 1868. What hope could he have with out help.
1. Chapter 1

**Sully's recovery from Rankin **

by Clare Quinn

January 2011

**Disclaimer I do not own the characters in this story. I wish the people who did would use them and create new series. I have just borrowed the characters.**

Sully after this attack had to be in bed/ recovering no less than 3 weeks I feel even more. Come on who really thought it would only take a week in 1868? This explores his thoughts and anxieties being in bed at the home stead. He'd wanted to have a family but not this way.

**...**

***WHAM*** Sully felt the full force of the gun butt with all the force Rankin could muster to cause the most damage into his back.

He felt the whack vibrate like a lightning bolt up to his head and it caused his knees to buckle and him fall onto the ground. It made Sully feel instantly ill. Not knowing what was happening.

He'd come to the buffalo hunters camp to help his Cheyenne family at their request. He appealed to the hunters that they leave enough buffalo for food for the Indians. As there was a harsh winter expected that year. They were starving and many children died of malnutrition that concerned Cloud Dancing and the other elders.

Rankin and Sully stepped into each other's space in a confronting stance and Rankin baited him into a verbal confrontation. Sully pulled himself up against the bigger man. He already felt angry at witnessing the slaughter of so many buffalo the day before when they'd been out collecting herbs for Dr Mike. He knew that their killing would only increase the likely hood of a war between the whites and Indians. There was a distinct possibility of the inevitable inhalation of his Indian family much sooner than late.

Rankin sneering _"they can eat coyote" _goaded him even more.

Within seconds the pack of smelly co workers Bluey and Skinna and the buffalo hunter where on him. A fist slammed into his face and he was wrenched to his feet. Another butt from the rifle slammed into his gut. He fell to the ground again gasping for breath. Sully was totally winded by a kick in the ribs. He felt a couple of his ribs break. The unprovoked beating and kicking was meant to do harm even kill him he was sure.

Knowing he was in real trouble with the frenzied savage attack continuing kick after kick he quickly succumbed to unconsciousness.

Looking at his unconscious form Rankin was proud as he thought they'd killed the half breed. Throw him over with the other one he ordered Bluey and Skinna who never questioned their boss.

Much later as evening approached Sully surfaced slightly when he heard his brother Cloud Dancing leaning down calling his name. The voice was so far away it may not have even been there.

He didn't know how long he'd been here where ever here was. Sully murmured quietly _"MMMaechlaaaa"_ on his breath.

Cloud Dancing picked him up and the pain caused his to be enveloped into unconsciousness once again. His brother was extremely concerned for him as it was dark and he only sensed how badly injured Sully was. The spirits told him he should hurry.

Cloud Dancing knocked on the door of the home stead and when it was opened he staggered in with his precious burden.

He placed a badly beaten Sully on the bed ever so carefully and seeing him in the light from the lantern shocked himself as well as the whole family. Colleen grasped Mathew and Brian as they all thought their friend was dead. Cloud Dancing told Dr Mike that Sully had mentioned her name when he located him after he'd not returned from the buffalo hunter's camp earlier in the day. There was a dead Indian in the ravine as well.

Michaela tried valiantly to hold onto control of her emotions as she listened for a heartbeat. Eyes filling with unshed tears for the man she was developing deep feelings for. Was it her own heart beat or his she was hearing? YES there it was! Not as strong as it would normally be but it was just audible. Did its weakness mean he had large internal injuries?

She was traumatized by the sight of Sully's condition. Who had done this to him? Why Sully didn't usually go out looking for this kind of trouble. At least not to the extent that this beating appeared to be looking at the outer injuries she could see. Not sure what was under the surface. There was severe deep bruising and swelling already evident on his tanned skin and his handsome face. The bruising only reminiscent of someone who had been run over by a horse and cart out of control. She'd witnessed these types of injuries only on Boston streets during her work at the hospital there. Horses and carriages caused extensive damage to the human body especially internal injuries when run over or stampeded on.

Michaela tried hard to control the rising fear within her. She'd glanced at the children and saw the panic in their eyes. She needed to control herself so the children would remain calm.

"_Colleen will you fill a bowl with warm water"_ she said _"I need to see how badly Sully is injured under all the blood" _Colleen nodded and took off to do the job.

"_Mathew I need clean cloths to bath Sully with also bandages from the clinic and other medicines"_ she instructed.

"_Brian Wolf and Pup need feeding"_ she continued

"_After that I want you all to think about getting ready for bed" _she continued.

That would keep them occupied as she tried to estimate the extent of Sully's injuries.

Looking at her friend and Sully's Cheyenne brother she said she'd need his help as well. He only mutely nodded and was relieved she acknowledged she needed support as well. Together they began to work on Sully's unconscious form. Cloud Dancing with his traditional Indian medicine, praying to the spirits asking them to heal his brother. She gently bathed the dried and caked blood off his beaten body. She also prayed to her God to save Sully's life. He'd bled so much it was obvious that he'd had a few large blood losses.

She removed his beads and medicine bag placing them in a draw in her bureau. She tore off the tattered shirt exposing more damage to his chest and a huge contusion on his stomach.

Mathew and Cloud Dancing removed his buckskin pants. They covered him with a sheet. Dr Mike knew that his modesty would have been stretched if she'd done the job herself even though she was a doctor and he unconscious.

Dr Mike knew Sully would be in enormous pain but was not able to give him anything and was grateful he was unconscious. Together they worked on him all night. Taking turns to watch him as one would sit in the rocking chair for a nap. Not really resting but conserving energy for what may occur.

What she saw on the outside was a swollen and discoloured face and badly bruised eye socket that could have a break in the eye socket orb also a possible fracture to his jaw. Possible broken ribs as both sides had bruising. Also of worry was the swelling in his abdomen. His shallow breathing did not appear to indicate a punctured lung. Not to mention the deep muscular bruising getting darker by the hour. She had been anxious about his back as she'd been afraid to roll him just in case of severe back trauma. Then there was an obvious knee injury and this was just the beginning. Not knowing the extent of internal injuries she was afraid they may lose him during the night. Thankfully there was no bleeding from the ears that would indicate head trauma. The next 24 hours would be crucial.

The next morning after a fitful night for them all as Sully although he was breathing it was very laboured...

Colleen said _"Dr Mike"_ Colleen turns to Mathew who puts his arms round her for reassurance. Brian is seated on the rocking chair with both wolves close by.

"_Sully I'll look after Wolf for ya till ya better"_ he promises in his thoughts. _"Ya always keep a promise just like ya said" _He felt closer to Sully with Wolf so close by.

She replied _"I can only see what's on the outside at this point I have no idea what's on the inside"._

With the question in her eyes she looked at Cloud Dancing.

He causally replied _"Spirits says it's bad."_

She whispered _"How bad?"_

"_He will live"_ was the reply.

This did not make her or any of them feel any better.

"_He'll be all right"_ Dr Mike tried to reassure them that Sully was holding his own more for her own benefit than to anyone in particular.

The night was the longest any of them had ever experienced just watching and a feeling of total helplessness.

**A day later... **

Late afternoon was approaching.

Sully gasped for air as he experienced the searing racking pain. He was jolted back into consciousness suddenly and violently. He was being bashed he swung wildly with his arm at the shadow of the man leaning over him.

"_AAAGGGGHhhhhh"_ he yelled as the pain in his side grabbed him.

He looked around confusion evident on his face. His one eye that he could just open offered some blurred vision. Cloud Dancing and Mathew were there instantly reassuring him. Mathew racing outside the home stead to fetch Dr Mike informing her Sully was waking.

Cloud Dancing filled him in on where he found him and why he was here. This did not make much sense to Sully.

Mathew running out the house while Dr Mike is hanging out scalded bandages with the clothes prop on the clothes line slung near the house.

He eagerly says _"Dr Mike Sully's waking up"_

"_Oh! Thank goodness for that"_ she thought. Racing for the front door she bolts in looking towards the bed. She was afraid that he may go into shock as well. Shock killed just as easily as the serious injuries that she witnessed. Why some bruises even had a boot print in them. What kind of force was required to inflict that imprint so well defined?

Sully was grunting with each breath. He was obviously having more trouble with his ribs even though she was loath to strap them.

Quietly she said as he tries to look at her _"Sully Cloud Dancing brought you here he found you near Rankin's camp"_...pause... _"Sully listen to me" _She felt almost out of control at this moment.

He was groaning still with each breath, she continues _"now that your awake it's very important that I examine you check for internal injuries" _

He nodded groaning. Every time she presses on his sensitive skin he moans loudly.

"_I know you're in terrible pain but please try to distinguish for me the different degrees. It's important"_ as Michaela is examining all the time he is grunting trying not to call out and his right side may have fractured ribs as he lets out another _"AAGGhhhh"_

Michaela shifts the sheet up from the bottom exposing his legs she presses near his obviously injured left knee and anxiously looks at him when there is no response from him. She presses again still no response. _"oh no!" _she thinks suppressing the thought quickly. But the concern is etched all over her face.

The room becomes quiet and Sully looks at Michaela. Suddenly he realises "_I can't move my legs" _he saysapprehensively.

Sully watched as she used an instrument down his leg.

Anxiously he said _"I can't feel that"_

Dr Mike went to on foot softly she said _"That?"_While running the instrument over the sole of his foot.

Exhaling he replied _"No"_ His eye showing true fear now he continued _"What's goin on?"_

Trying so hard not to lose control of her own feelings that she had harnessed tightly she went on _"Some sort of paralysis"..._ Another pause_..."I don't know exactly"_ she concluded.

Trying to keep his own apprehension under control he said _"I'm paralysed?" _All of a sudden hesaw his life flash before his eyes. It was of his dream of being here as part of this family in this home. Also of all his love for her and affection growing in his heart threatened. His anticipation of their union in the future all these now dashed.

Michaela answered as everyone held their breath listening _"the problem may just be temporary" _

Sully frightened now asked _"what da ya mean?"_

"_Well it just could be accumulation of fluid pressing on the spinal cord"... another pause... "with time the swelling will go down and the feeling will come back" she_ continued trying to sound convincing.

It felt that they all collectively were holding their breaths. Everyone felt so heavy at what was being said. Not really understanding but words like *paralysed* and *no feelings* as well as their implications meant they did recognise the seriousness of the situation.

Sully groaned out _"how long?"_

Michaela wanted to be reassured as well as reassuring the other but couldn't with a shrug she said _"I don't know"_

Her heart was getting heavier and torn as she was talking. Sully she just wanted to hold him. Kiss him and take the pain from him. Make it all go away. The realization of all horrid possibilities was enormous and she understood more than anyone the outcome may not be good. This rugged, gentle man that she had feelings of love for may never walk again.

Cloud Dancing stated that he'd heard of a root that may help. He was determined to look for and find this root that may assist his brother become well. He left immediately to seek this root.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Sully's recovery

**Disclaimer I do not own the characters in this story. I wish the people who did would use them and create new series.**

**During week 1 ...**

As Sully became more orientated to his surroundings he realized he was at the homestead in *Michaela's* bed, it had been his and Abigail's bed as well before Michaela had walked into the homestead furnished as is. The knowledge was making him uncomfortable.

Watching her at home here moving around doing the chores, Watching the children and *her* like a spy. He'd dreamed what it would be like to be part of daily life here but not like this. This was the ultimate torture one could endure needing her, wanting her but unable to have her. Now he was a cripple unable to do the simplest task for himself.

Sully wanted to be moved to the clinic but Dr Mike wouldn't even hear of it. Not with the back injury he was suffering from she could nurse him better here. He settled eventually realizing that Robert E and Black Kettle had been nursed in this bed as well. On top of that he had no option she was being *stubborn* as usual. He was obstinate, mulish. Inflexible as well and it was just this that would assist Sully to recover completely not giving up Michaela knew this. They just wouldn't agree on that subject.

He had been in bed for a couple of days and nothing was improving. He'd been placed in a night shirt of Mathews. Mathew attending many of his needs as Dr Mike was aware of his pride fullness and independence would not allow her to nurse him. Not only that now that Sully was conscious she became mindful of how close her feelings had become for him. She knew she could remain professional as his Doctor but her emotional tie was too strong. Robert E and the Reverend also assisted whenever needed.

The impatience growing within him all the time as he tried valiantly to suppress it but the current was boiling under the surface all the time. Sully groaned out his frustration whenever he had the opportunity to be alone for a few minutes. Everyone was valiantly trying not to leave Sully on his own for too long. It was beginning to feel like everyone was walking around on egg shells.

The children hovered around like frightened birds with eyes that held such a look of sadness. Brian continually waiting for Sully to jump up and go somewhere, fishin maybe he was not accustomed to Sully being immobilized. Sully was grateful when they were all gone from the cabin for short periods as Michaela was aware he felt like a caged animal.

Dr Mike insisted in administering pain drafts. He hated this as it caused his brain to go fuzzy and out of control. His eyes could not focus and images moved in and out. His ears buzzed as well. They kept him comfortable and resting even though it was a fitful rest.

"_I don't like not bein in control_" he'd repeated for the umpteenth time through his clenched teeth. She repeated continually that sleep and rest was the best for his body to heal at the moment. Dr Mike had insisted that he remain flat for the moment as she was uncertain of how badly his back injury was, not wishing to complicate the injury in any way.

He just didn't feel like eating and he began losing some weight but he didn't care. He drank the tea as it soothed his nerves for short periods. "_What was the point of eating anyway? He may never walk again" _continually occupied his mind.

The children constantly tried to cajole Sully to eat. Colleen cooked all the meals she thought he'd enjoy to no avail. The broths left untouched. Brian even tried bribing Sully that brought a sad smile onto his face for a brief moment. Their efforts only made them feel worse and they couldn't come up with ideas to ease the declining situation.

One day while Mathew and Michaela were shopping Brian asked Sully for a story. After some thought Sully began to tell the story of the Cheyenne legend of Running Ghost. He held Brian and Colleen's interest. But did not finished.

Dr Mike was challenging his patience trying to remain cheerful and upbeat. Her gentle touch was driving him crazy he couldn't bring his gaze to her face. He felt her move her hands as she administered salves and balms to the abrasions cuts and bruises. But down on his hips and legs there were no sensations at all. This frightened him more than anything he'd ever experienced before in his entire life.

She needed to be positive as she couldn't comprehend his not recovering. In the crisp evenings she'd go out to the vegetable patch unseen and shed the tears she wasn't game to let the others see. She had these strong feelings for this strong mountain man and now he was so badly injured. She had to remain _stoic_ and _believe_ for him that he'd recover. A much weaker man would be dead by now she knew. If he died she'd lose another friend but more importantly her heart as well.

He knew that he was more than likely paralysed for life he saw it in her eyes. His life was slipping from him he'd no family to look after him. He couldn't be in the forests that he loved in lean-tos so his independence was stripped from him. Nor could he return to the Indian village as a burden to them he'd not be able to provide for his keep. Here at the home stead was out of the question as nobody needed an extra mouth to feed when he couldn't contribute in any way. He knew Michaela would open the door to him but he'd refuse. Around and around his mind whirled. No answers only more and more questions and deeper despair engulfing him.

These descending twisting feelings of fretfulness spiralling down and down he knew that he wasn't at the bottom yet. There was nothing he could do to assist himself he didn't know how.

The children occasionally just looked for something to say eventually drifting into silence. This was stretching them as well, everyone's nerves jangled on edge.

He was feeling defeated at the moment. His sleep was continually being interrupted with the same relentless dream of him a cripple. He'd be seated on a corner in a city not unlike New York where they'd immigrated to. That place had killed his Pa of a broken heart. He'd have a tin begging for money. Clothes dirty and tattered he was thin and pulled himself along the road. His legs shrivelled and deformed. He slept in a door way and he'd be cold freezing and wet. Finally he'd awaken heart racing and sweating with a jolt. Trying to drag himself into the present then being flooded with the knowledge he couldn't feel his legs still. He'd succumb to sobbing into his pillow afraid of awakening those sleeping close by.

Towards the end of the week he was able to drag himself into a lounging position with his head on the bed head. His elbows and heals were sore as well by bragging himself around the bed. Finally they could roll him over. Michaela took an audible breath in, what she saw horrified her. The deep bruise extended the width of his back administered by a blow from a hard object as well as further boot marks. Miraculously it was lower than the his kidneys if just a fraction higher it may have ruptured either one or both of his kidneys and Sully would have surely bled to death.

He desperately wanted to bath and soak in a stream feel free just floating there. Not feeling anything just floating on the water. *Freedom*. He closed his eyes imagining how the water felt. Drifting with no troubles no pain just a serine feeling of oneness with the water.

**Week2...**

His anger was accelerating rapidly. Why him? Why now questioning all the time? There was too much time to think. He wanted to be on his own but missed everyone when he was alone.

His sleep pattern was changing. He would wake up in a sweat knowing that as the weeks progressed and *NO IMPROVEMENT* was occurring the chances were decreasing that he'd ever recover.

His mood swings were increasing with each day. His tolerance to his pain wasn't decreasing in fact he was experiencing more aches each day. He clenched his teeth as his nerves were all jangling and everything was an irritation to him. There was no privacy for him. He was irritable with everyone. He knew this was not fair but he couldn't help himself. All he wanted was to curl up and *Die*. He was becoming more terrified with each day. He was intentionally withdrawing from the family.

Dr Mike one evening had sat on the bed holding his hand he refused to look into her eyes in case he cried. _"Sully of cause you'll be suffering from melancholia"._ She'd said in a concerned voice. _"You need to eat something keep up your strength "she_ continued. "_you've experienced a huge trauma it takes time"._

Sully's impatience was tearing her heart out. Being here as his Doctor but more importantly as his best friend was extremely hard on her as well. She wished with whole heart she could draw him to her and caress away his pain but more importantly his anxiety. He yanked his hand out of hers.

Smouldering grey eyes looking directly at into hers_. "Don't Dr Mike you know as I do that time is running out. I should have felt something if I am to recover" _he said with his voice cracking with emotion.

Michaela had seen those beautiful blue eyes of his show change to mauve and grey depending on what colour he wore or his moods over the time she known him. She loved the sapphire blue they drew her into him but was able to read his moods and desires in them as well. His eyes were really the window to his soul. Right now Michaela knew she was losing him to this feeling of his of being inadequate and not feeling like a real *MAN*. He wondered how he would be able to live like that.

Before all this being with Michaela on his own he felt the urge to hold her, love her that had been shoved down beep now, as he knew he'd had to wait till they could come to terms with their own histories first.

Michaela had been waiting for any sign of some improvement as well. She'd been in contact with other Doctors in Boston. Specialists who had all indicated that time was the only thing they could recommend. There *WAS NO* judge as it totally depended on the individuals body absorbing the fluid it required patience and preventing further trauma.

Sully although generally patient teaching skills he loved like tracking, fishin was now being pushed into that space he'd experienced only once before in his life in the mine cave in. He had to hold onto the glimmer of hope that he'd come out of this ordeal generally unscathed as he'd done before.

Since Cloud Dancing had left Mathew had stepped in to bath Sully and tend his needs. Robert E and the Reverend assisted when they were around. They'd not made things easier either talking of the rail road and changes he wasn't able to see or do anything about. Talk of possible war with the Indians.

Cloud dancing returned with the root and enquired about Sully. He explained two more Cheyenne had been killed by Rankin and war may erupt. He understood Sully's feeling as he was in tune with his brother. He instructed how to prepare the balsam and also apply it.

Talking to the children and other long term residents especially Jake she was reminded of the hot springs. In one of her medical journals she remembered an article on the curative properties of the heat and the minerals in hot springs. Some said the sulphur in them added healing as well. She and the children managed to move Sully to the wagon and into the water 3 times in the evening when nobody would be around to see him dependant on anyone. Closing his eyes he could just imagine he was floating. Weightless and free as the eagles he loved to watch sawing in the heavens. He'd watch them for hours laying in his lean-to on the hill. If only!

His tan was disappearing and the bruises changing in colour not fading just changing. His eye was improving he could open it slightly. Dr Mike had examined it leaning towards him he could smell those scented soaps on her. He wanted to inhale them but clenched his teeth to suppress the urge. He couldn't let himself go _there_. She was satisfied that no damage had been done to the eye itself.

His sleep was still continually being interrupted with these dreams of him as a cripple. Now he was still in the city dirty and sleepin under paper it was so cold. His teeth chattering he couldn't stop shivering. He'd still be seated on a corner in a city with a tin begging. Someone coming up and stealing what he had and he was powerless to prevent it.

Michaela was so in tune to him would hear his restlessness and quietly moving to the bed. On quite a number of occasions when he continued to moan in his sleep she'd lie on top of the quilt and cover herself and Sully with another bright one. She placed her arm gently over his frame and hold him. Due to his medicated state he was un aware of this special ritual. She would feel him relax as he warmed up to her touch. She could send him her love without complications.

She'd been aware that Sully had not left her side during all the hours she lay so desperately ill with influenza. She'd heard Sully implore her with his whole being to return to him and get well. Now she was doing the same for him. She prayed continually for a miracle. Just some small sign with which to see a change and glimmer hope.

Michaela needed to reason with him. "_Sully I know you're upset no one can blame you these injuries take time"_

"_Tell me the truth Dr Mike will I heal" _he didn't honestly know how much more he could take.

_I don't know"_ was her reply

"_What are my odds"_ he was losing all hope now.

"_Truth?"_ Michaela wanted to be sure he wanted to continue.

"_Truth" _He needed to hear this

"_I have no idea"_ was her response.

Frustration rose to a height that he slammed the head board.

The confinement to the building was crowding in on him, he was a free spirit and used to activity and being outdoors. Another thing he was losing his freedom. He defiantly totally felt despondent. He was grieving and distressed at the lost life he had. Some may say it wasn't much but it was his life and his choice of how he wanted to live.

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_**"Come sit down beside me"**_

_**I said to myself**_

_**And although it does not make sense**_

_**I held my own hand**_

_**As a small sign of trust**_

_**And together I sat on the fence.**_

Author Unknown

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Sully's recovery

**Disclaimer I do not own the characters in this story. I wish the people who did would use them and create new series.**

**Week3...**

This week was becoming a mirror of the past two. He was still frustrated stemming from his feeling at being fenced in, it still hurt to move. He still felt like he was cooped up like one of Colleen's hens.

His emotions on a constant see saw swaying minute to minute it was affecting all his senses he was literally feeling sick to the stomach. Sully was not accustomed to not being in control it was unnerving him, not knowing.

They continued to go to the hot springs late as usual. His bruising was lessening but the soreness was still present. They were yellowing and fading slightly.

Sully woke up some mornings his pillow was wet he had been crying tears for his lost life. He'd turn the pillow over so as not to let the others know. Mourning for the loss of his dreams.

Michaela had given Sully a copy of Walt Whitman's poetry to read when he was alone. It remained on the bed side table untouched. He had no interest in anything he couldn't concentrate anyway.

One day in about the middle of the week Michaela as always trying to be optimistic during a conversation.

Said _"Now wait a minute you could start healing in a couple of days or weeks"_

Sully testily replied _"Or not at all"_

"_It could take even months but there are things we can do to speed up the process" _she continued dragging the sheet down and beginning to massage his leg. Sully grabbed his night shirt to cover more of himself glaring at her.

Realizing he can't feel her movements suddenly slapped him _"What are ya doin" _he asked urgently

Continuing she says _"We need to keep the legs healthy in case the spinal cord is healthy"_

Irritated now he sneers "_Ya just wasting ya time I can't feel anything"_

Not to be deterred she replies _"That's not the point we have to keep the muscles strong, stimulate the blood vessels"_ continuing to massage his leg.

The revelation that he cannot feel her hands on his legs He says _"I don't want to do this now I just want to be by myself don't go feelin sorry for me" _he said defiantly.

Leaving she pivoted around saying _"I'll make you a deal I won't feel sorry for you as long as you stop feeling sorry for yourself" _Ugh! Men she says silently to herself.

In desperation his he called, _"Michaela! Please!" _But she was out the back door running towards the vegetable patch again in tears again.

As Michaela left the room Sully's heart began to pound in his chest. He began to breathing rapidly and he felt totally out of control. He couldn't figure out what was happening and shutting his eyes he tried to bring his breathing and heart beat back to normal. Finally after about half an hour he felt in control. He had never had an episode where he felt he'd been wrestling a long horn before. Sully felt he could not tell Michaela because he didn't understand what had just happened.

As the weeks were progressing the disillusionment was palatable and electric within the cabin. Each day brought more disappointment. Sully was feeling so worthless he wasn't even able to do the smallest job to ease the burden of daily life. His escalating irritation and anxiety was engulfing his being to the core. He had lost hope. His mind obsessed about lost dreams and not being a total man.

Sleep was his constant nemesis as it would evade him during the early hours. His mind is reallin. A sudden pain in his back not felt before like another kick made him suck air into his lungs with a gasp.

His mood swung like a pendulum in the opposite directions. He was trying to assist by cooperating one day pulling himself up on a homemade bar. The Reverend asked him to try to do another one for the lord. He did it and Brian said he'd improve from two weeks before. Due only to his dogged determination to please others he kept trying. Sully couldn't resist a forlorn glance at Dr Mike she longingly gazed into his eyes before he quickly dropped his again looking in the opposite direction.

Sully was emotional curling into himself. He was withdrawing from everything. Michaela found him curling into a ball under the covers faced away from the room. He had pretended to be asleep all day. His mind wouldn't allow him to rest. Around and around his mind whirled his tears threatening to envelope him at any moment. He knew he was crippled, he had no will power to save himself. His hatred growing daily for the slimy B****d Rankin who had robbed him of his dream, was festering as usual and filling him with revulsion in his thoughts.

A really new feeling of hope he'd suppressed before his life with the Cheyenne was gone now. He knew Michaela was worried but he was incapable now to talk about how he was feeling to anyone especially her.

The next morning Mathew was applying the salve with Michaela rolled the bandages for the clinic.

Suddenly and excitedly she exclaimed "_They moved your toes they moved" _she exclaimed excitedly. _"Concentrate"_

Suddenly the immense feeling of excitement and anticipation filled the room. Everyone was beginning to feel happy.

Continuing Michaela said _"You'll be walking again before you know it"_

"_Good, good I've got things to do" _he replied in a menacing tone. Scowling and not looking at anyone. Michaela's heart froze as she understood the depth of feeling Sully was feeling for him to even voice such a threat.

Immediately his appetite returned. He'd feel really good in the mornings but falling in a heap in the afternoons. He moved to a chair giving his elbows and heels a chance to heal. He tried to remain upbeat occasionally though he was plunged down into the depths again. Still experiencing huge mood swings.

Sully's pride and impatience now took over his common sense. He wanted it all *NOW!* He wanted his life back and aggravation welling up again. He began to exercise frantically although Michaela suggested moderation and to ease into it. What Michaela had said about exercising while he was in bed came back with a vengeance. He realized he should have been more cooperative then.

He wanted to walk now and was irritated by the slow progress. He wanted to do it by himself. Show her that he could be independent again, also to himself.

"_I want to try on my own" _Sully grumpedgrabbing at the crutch. Mathew and Michaela were supporting his weight between them as he tentatively took his first steps.

"_You're not ready yet" _Michaela stated.

Annoyed Sully replied _"Yes I am"_ He stumbled and began to fall Mathew and Michaela dragging him back to the step of the homestead. Now it became obvious to Sully it was actually going to take some time for him to recover his strength. Much slower steps would assist him to achieve his goal. Though he was more settled knowing he would eventually walk again. He had regained* _Hope*_ once again.

One day on the bed he was suddenly aware that he was watching Michaels and her movements. Her graceful actions made him desire to hold her in his arms then other thoughts came to mind. He suddenly covered his lower abdomen with the quilt aware of what the thoughts had done to his body, he blushed and was grateful she had not witnessed his embarrassment. Relieved once again that he felt whole and a *MAN* again. Not that he'd used that function since Abigail had died and he could only pray that one day he would with the woman in front of him.

A few nights later Sully gets up to get wood. Michaela says his Doctor says it's too early. Brian reminds him that he'd not completed the Running Ghost story. Everyone settled back while he retold the Cheyenne legend. Sully and the family did not realize at the time how this legend would become so important.

**WEEK 4...**

All the while Sully was laying in bed the one constant was how he ended up there nearly losing his life was Rankin. How a simple request had escalated into a savage beating. This had simmered for the weeks he'd been recovering.

Now it consumed him. Keeping his mood dark and he became obsessed with revenging himself. As moving became better less painful he moved around the yard outside.

One day he decided to try out his tomahawk. Mathew was watching Sully as he managed to get enough strength to slam the weapon into the side of the barn. Mathew nodded in agreement. Although he had to grab hold of his side as his ribs still hurt with any movement. They were weeks off being completely healed. There were only traces of the bruising on different parts of his body. The faded boot marks still evident.

One day Dr Mike met the man acting as a buyer for the railroad when she confronted Rankin in front of the hotel. She was appalled at his obvious disregard for what he'd inflicted on Sully. She'd blurted out that Sully was still alive. Not realizing that she placed them all in imminent danger.

Horace who generally kept his own council was scandalized by what Dr Mike had told him of the attack on Sully. He sent off a telegram to the Territory Marshal. Saying he hoped Rankin would have to pay for what he'd done to Sully.

The next morning Dr Mike realizing what she'd done by telling Rankin he was alive. Forcing Sully to now have to leave the shelter of the home stead, before he was totally healed. And before he was ready to live normally, it was far too soon.

She couldn't help but tell him if he killed Rankin she never wanted to see him again. She knew this was not his true character when she emphasised she'd never seen him so angry. It actually frightened her.

Dr Mike and Cloud Dancing worked together to save Sully after he was badly hurt by Rankin. She was aware of the deep feeling she had begun to experience for him. She decided to ask the Cheyenne for help and they used ceremony to bring forth Running Ghost.

Cloud Dancing urged her to speak to Sully _"you must find him" "You are the only one he will listen too"._ Explaining to her that this had now become Sully's fight though the Cheyenne would do whet they could.

They commenced a ceremony to invoke the White Buffalo. Dr Mike was most grateful for Chief Black Kettle's and the Cheyenne peoples help. Their spirit had called up their revered buffalo spirit as protection for Sully this was due to a direct connection between Sully and his adopted family. Their bond was a strong spiritual connection to him as he had attempted to help them.

Going after Rankin for revenge and rage was all consuming in Sully's mind. The hatred he felt was a frightening emotion. It provoked him through his whole being. Before he was aware of his environment he was at the camp they were using. Crouched low he took Skinna out cold. Bluey was aware of his present and came at him with a knife. Where was his main target Rankin he listened and heard a shot off in the distance. Aware that he was not fighting fit he mounted his horse again.

Without regard for his safety he omits a war cry and rides at Rankin unaware the Ghost Buffalo was there as protection. A fight issues and they struggle. Eventually straddling over Rankin's body he could easily do him in. He sees and hears Michaela afraid of losing him. Then he realizes he'd lose her for all time if he did kill this slimy individual. Slamming his tomahawk down the side if Rankin's head slicing his ear.

"_Ya be gone by morning, take nothing with ya, if I ever see ya again I'll kill ya"_ Sully pants out. He is really sore and his ribs have cracked again. He struggles onto the horse again and prepares to leave.

Rankin didn't care if Sully had spared his life he just wanted him dead, aiming at Sully's retreating back with his rifle he aimed. Before that could occur the White Buffalo appeared, charged and gored Rankin. Sully turned and witnessed the whole incident. Rankin lay dead on the ground.

Weary and unable to ride he sees Michaela. _SHE'D COME TO HIM_.

Sully slid from the horse unable to hold on any longer due to the soreness and fatigue of pushing himself now the adrenalin was depleted. Michaela was there by his side in seconds.

She gathered Sully's head tenderly into her lap. She had given to him all the strength she had the past weeks. She was so relieved that he was alive.

Sully says _"It's over"_

Michaela relieved but couldn't not know asks "_Tell me you didn't kill him"_

"_I didn't" _gasping for air hefinally said _"I didn't kill him"_

"_Hush she says nobody deserved the beating you received, I am so proud of you did well, we'll do this together, I'll see to those ribs later" _Michaela reinforced with a shy smile

"_I didn't want ta lose ya, you mean the world to me, your my world now I can't live without ya". _He panted

Bending down she lightly kisses him on the forehead. "I know" she replies

He sighs contentedly. Knowing he could now let it go and begin to climb out of his dark hole he has been in since the beating. He'd seen his *_Shadow* _and had been in a *_Dark Place*._

They realized there was a long way to go and it would not be easy but they'd travel together. Now his hope was returned. Holding tightly onto Michaela's arm, the contact was as if his whole life depended on it.

**Sully's life line.**

**The End**

...

I acknowledgeLinda4HIM59 for this idea. Thank you

This video brings a lot of Running Ghost to life

**.com/watch?v=vxeqp-QY0r8&feature=related**

More snippets of RG _Sully's dream_.

**.com/watch?v=IA5akk_LLl4**

**Please Review**

...

The writers skirted this subject Sully RG. Loren's with his Stroke and Aging F&S. Olive and Dorothy's aging women, loss of self & breast operation LN, Horace's & Marjorie's Marriage Breakup. Grief, Death and Dying, Abigail, Maude, Charlotte, Becky Marjory, Elizabeth Quinn and not in the least forgetting Washita. It is hard in a half hour episode but they did their very best with great actors.

I felt impelled to dig deeper.

If people are suffering from **depression** please look for help. If a person you know suffers from depression encourage them to seek medical help.

Here in Australia many young men are suffering especially in the country areas many are dying. You need to **listen and not offer advice** keep encouraging them to seek proper help.

I researched some from the Black Dog Depression organisation here in OZ. Mainly knowledge I have acquired as a nurse and training with others.

Working with Men's Club 21 aged gentlemen and their carer's and having mate's who are Men's Health Educators.

Don't get me wrong we had heaps of laughs, love and as well remember it's called **Balance**.


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